1 00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:03,284 [?] 2 00:00:05,121 --> 00:00:06,854 Is there any more coffee, Jeannie? 3 00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:10,592 Oh, thank you. 4 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:11,959 Master. Hm? 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,361 Why do you not work at home today? 6 00:00:13,362 --> 00:00:15,863 Is this not much nicer than a stuffy, old office? 7 00:00:15,864 --> 00:00:17,565 No, it's not a stuffy, old office. 8 00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:19,934 Besides, Roger's gonna be picking me up in a few minutes. 9 00:00:19,935 --> 00:00:21,969 We have a conference with General Peterson. 10 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,004 And I'm taking up a 104 11 00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:24,705 with some experimental equipment on it. 12 00:00:24,706 --> 00:00:25,707 Now, that's not stuffy. 13 00:00:25,708 --> 00:00:27,575 And you find that exciting? 14 00:00:27,576 --> 00:00:29,076 It's not supposed to be exciting. 15 00:00:29,077 --> 00:00:30,578 Well, then why do you do it? 16 00:00:30,579 --> 00:00:32,380 'Cause I like it. 17 00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,549 Good morning, Major Healey. 18 00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:36,990 Oh, hi, Roge. Come on out. 19 00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:40,955 Roge? 20 00:00:40,956 --> 00:00:42,590 What's wrong? 21 00:00:42,591 --> 00:00:44,492 Look, uh, we'd better get over to the office. 22 00:00:44,493 --> 00:00:47,162 We have a meeting in, uh, 30 minutes, so, uh... 23 00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:50,031 Well, you got time for a cup of coffee. 24 00:00:50,032 --> 00:00:51,266 Very nice. 25 00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:52,967 Sit down. Tell me what's worrying you. 26 00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:55,436 Oh, what could be worrying me when I have a friend like you? 27 00:00:55,437 --> 00:00:57,172 Have you had any other nice wishes today? 28 00:00:57,173 --> 00:00:58,239 What's on your mind? 29 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,841 There's nothing on my mind. 30 00:01:02,511 --> 00:01:05,380 I'll tell you what's on my mind. You know what's on my mind? 31 00:01:05,381 --> 00:01:07,164 If I had my own private genie and my best friend 32 00:01:07,165 --> 00:01:09,734 wanted to borrow her from me, I'd let him. 33 00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:11,419 Oh, not again. 34 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,054 Roger, we've been through all this. 35 00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:14,739 Jeannie won't do me any harm. 36 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,707 Oh, of course not. You see? 37 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:19,026 She won't mean to, but that's what will happen, anyway. 38 00:01:19,027 --> 00:01:20,228 Well, you know that. 39 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:21,512 I don't want to keep her. 40 00:01:21,513 --> 00:01:23,181 All I want is three little wishes. 41 00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:24,499 No. 42 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,318 Two wishes? Roger. 43 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,769 One teensy-weensy wish? 44 00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:30,505 Oh, please, may I, master? 45 00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,073 Listen, 46 00:01:32,074 --> 00:01:34,025 I'll never ask you another thing in my whole life. 47 00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:35,860 Just one wish. What have you got to lose? 48 00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:38,012 I don't know. I haven't heard the wish yet. 49 00:01:39,665 --> 00:01:41,733 All right, go ahead, give him a wish. 50 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,934 [GIGGLES] 51 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,870 All I want is one... 52 00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:48,173 One...? One wish? 53 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,674 You're going to give me a wish? 54 00:01:49,675 --> 00:01:51,275 Oh! 55 00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:52,577 Only one now. Don't go crazy. 56 00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:53,811 Go crazy? 57 00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:55,480 I'm the richest man in the whole world. 58 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:57,682 Oh, am I rich. Yachts, chateaus. 59 00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:59,201 Ah. You wish to be the richest man 60 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,502 in the whole world. 61 00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:01,569 No! 62 00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:02,803 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 63 00:02:02,804 --> 00:02:04,472 Maybe I should look like Gregory Peck. 64 00:02:04,473 --> 00:02:07,041 Ah, can you imagine all those girls falling in love with me? 65 00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,460 Ah... Gregory Peck. 66 00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:10,529 Wait! 67 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,414 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 68 00:02:12,415 --> 00:02:13,581 With all that money, 69 00:02:13,582 --> 00:02:15,283 I don't have to look like Gregory Peck. 70 00:02:15,284 --> 00:02:17,251 With all that money, I should live long enough 71 00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:18,319 to spend it. 72 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,021 Maybe I should wish for a long life. 73 00:02:20,022 --> 00:02:21,239 Long life. 74 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,557 Oh, wait! 75 00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:25,309 Roger, would you hurry up? We got a meeting, remember? 76 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,545 Hold your tongue, will ya? 77 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:29,113 You may be talking to the next president of the United States. 78 00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:30,382 Can you imagine that? 79 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:32,733 The president of the United States. 80 00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,969 Oh, I'm so sorry, Tony. 81 00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:37,410 Oh, I wished I hadn't done that. 82 00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:43,812 Oh, Jeannie, you're wonderful. And I wished I hadn't done that. 83 00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:47,231 I wished I hadn't done it? 84 00:02:47,232 --> 00:02:48,633 Oh, no! 85 00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:50,635 [?] 86 00:02:53,138 --> 00:02:54,889 [?] 87 00:03:41,286 --> 00:03:43,287 [?] 88 00:03:47,543 --> 00:03:50,044 You can't do this to the next president of the United States. 89 00:03:50,045 --> 00:03:51,078 You said one wish. 90 00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,079 And you've had it. 91 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,414 You mean, I've been had. 92 00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:55,883 Oh, I am sorry, Major Healey, but you did wish for the stain 93 00:03:55,884 --> 00:03:56,884 to disappear. 94 00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:58,153 That's right. Thanks, Roge. 95 00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,554 Oh, thanks, think nothing of it. 96 00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:01,789 That's the only 5 billion dollar stain in history. 97 00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:02,857 Goodbye, Jeannie. 98 00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:04,559 Wait a minute! You mean that was my wish? 99 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:05,660 That's right. Oh, wait. 100 00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:07,094 Stains don't count. 101 00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,930 [ARGUING] 102 00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:11,932 [?] 103 00:04:42,013 --> 00:04:44,014 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 104 00:04:56,194 --> 00:04:58,228 [HOSE BLOWING AIR] 105 00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:03,668 Boy, these flies are killing me. 106 00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:05,536 Whew! 107 00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:06,905 Get 'em. 108 00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,606 Get 'em, get 'em. 109 00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:09,640 Hey, hey. 110 00:05:09,641 --> 00:05:10,641 Will ya? Will ya? 111 00:05:10,642 --> 00:05:11,642 I'm... I'm sorry. 112 00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:12,844 Whew. 113 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:13,978 Listen, I wanna... 114 00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:20,218 Oh. Sorry. 115 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:21,853 Look at the grease on that thing. 116 00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:24,923 All right, what were you saying? 117 00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,275 Oh, I was just saying that, uh... I was just saying... 118 00:05:27,276 --> 00:05:28,092 Oh, Major Nelson. 119 00:05:28,093 --> 00:05:29,410 Hey, look out! 120 00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:30,594 Roger, what are you doing? 121 00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:31,595 Oh, I'm so... 122 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,118 I don't understand. 123 00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:40,287 I just saw you smear him with that grease, 124 00:05:40,288 --> 00:05:42,690 and his uniform is absolutely clean. 125 00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:43,891 Yes. Yes, it is, isn't it? 126 00:05:43,892 --> 00:05:45,760 Well, how do you explain that, Major Nelson? 127 00:05:45,761 --> 00:05:47,762 Well, there's really nothing to explain, sir. 128 00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:48,830 I know what I saw. 129 00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,631 Yeah, Roger, will you put that thing down? 130 00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:52,600 Just put it down. 131 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,001 We gotta stop horsing around. 132 00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:56,337 [YELPS] 133 00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:02,209 Your blouse won't get dirty. 134 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:04,545 Yeah, it must be the experiment we're working on, sir. 135 00:06:04,546 --> 00:06:07,348 This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. 136 00:06:07,349 --> 00:06:09,149 And since you've been here, Major Nelson, 137 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:11,218 I've seen some pretty incredible things. 138 00:06:11,219 --> 00:06:12,920 Yeah. Well, there's nothing to it, sir. 139 00:06:12,921 --> 00:06:14,522 It's the simplest thing in the world. 140 00:06:14,523 --> 00:06:15,774 How do you do it? 141 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,541 It's the X Factor, sir. 142 00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:19,744 You just, uh, spray this fluid on the material, 143 00:06:19,745 --> 00:06:21,625 and it keeps it from permeating. 144 00:06:22,531 --> 00:06:24,164 Remarkable. 145 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:26,684 Yes. Well, if you'll excuse us, we have a briefing. 146 00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:29,003 Briefing. What do you mean? 147 00:06:29,004 --> 00:06:30,904 Oh, briefing. 148 00:06:30,905 --> 00:06:32,206 ROGER: Briefing. 149 00:06:32,207 --> 00:06:34,368 Let's don't be late for the briefing. 150 00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:46,838 Oh, general, I've got to talk to you. 151 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,055 Is anything wrong? 152 00:06:48,056 --> 00:06:49,056 Wrong? 153 00:06:49,057 --> 00:06:52,026 Oh, uh, just a moment, sir. 154 00:06:52,027 --> 00:06:55,329 Oh, captain, would you please see the general isn't disturbed? 155 00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,799 Thank you. 156 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,970 General Peterson, unless I miss my guess, 157 00:07:01,971 --> 00:07:03,705 we'll be showing this 158 00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:06,774 to the president of the United States by nightfall. 159 00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:08,943 Looks like a can of fly spray. 160 00:07:08,944 --> 00:07:12,080 It might look like a can of fly spray, sir, 161 00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:15,583 but it's probably the most exciting discovery ever made. 162 00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,085 Would you mind standing up? 163 00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:18,335 You want me to stand up? 164 00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:20,120 Please, general. 165 00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:25,660 Well, uh, what does it do? 166 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:28,095 You'll see, general. You'll see. 167 00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:30,097 It has a X Factor in it. 168 00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:35,803 Now, first we spray on the X Factor, 169 00:07:35,804 --> 00:07:39,741 then we put on... 170 00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:42,009 some black grease. 171 00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,845 Just like this. 172 00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:46,406 Now, you watch. Watch closely. 173 00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,146 Tea? 174 00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:04,148 Yeah. 175 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,650 No, no, no. 176 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,885 Oh, I wish I hadn't blown that wish this morning. 177 00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,520 You oughta consider yourself lucky. 178 00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,922 It's the first time I've ever known Jeannie to grant a wish 179 00:08:11,923 --> 00:08:13,324 and not have it cause a disaster. 180 00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:15,085 A disaster? Yeah. 181 00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,345 Oh, a disaster. Wait a minute. 182 00:08:18,346 --> 00:08:19,496 You know how big this is? 183 00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,065 A material that's indestructible? 184 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,399 Indestructible? Who said? 185 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,069 Listen, when Jeannie blinks, she doesn't fool around. 186 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:27,021 Of course not. 187 00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:29,690 Say, you know you've stumbled on something really marvelous. 188 00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,559 Oh, do you really think so, master? 189 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,927 Yeah. 190 00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,595 Do you have any idea what this could do 191 00:08:34,596 --> 00:08:36,263 to the housewives all over the world? 192 00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:39,233 Well, they'll never have to wash clothes or mend anything. 193 00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:41,001 Nothing will ever get dirty. Or torn. 194 00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:42,269 Or torn, right. Torn. 195 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,238 What are you doing? What are you doing to my...? 196 00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:45,573 Well, what are you gonna do? 197 00:08:45,574 --> 00:08:47,809 I want to cut a piece out of this and have it analyzed. 198 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,410 What are you doing? 199 00:08:52,414 --> 00:08:54,114 I broke the scissors. 200 00:08:54,115 --> 00:08:55,149 The scissors. 201 00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:57,084 I saw it. 202 00:08:57,085 --> 00:08:59,386 Your blouse broke the scissors. 203 00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:00,988 Well, how do you explain that, major? 204 00:09:00,989 --> 00:09:03,357 Well, it's part of the same experiment we're working on. 205 00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:05,225 Well, then why didn't the other fluid work? 206 00:09:05,226 --> 00:09:06,360 Oh, the other? 207 00:09:06,361 --> 00:09:07,962 Well, it, uh, probably wasn't fresh. 208 00:09:07,963 --> 00:09:09,964 No, it has to be fresh. Right. Exactly. 209 00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:11,332 Is this fresh? 210 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,400 Yes. Oh, we just got it. 211 00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:16,537 If you don't mind, I'll take this. 212 00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:22,743 Why don't he get his own coffee? 213 00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:24,305 Tea. Tea. 214 00:09:25,196 --> 00:09:27,982 Believe me, general, I know what went wrong. 215 00:09:27,983 --> 00:09:31,085 The X Factor wasn't fresh. 216 00:09:31,086 --> 00:09:33,087 The X Factor wasn't fresh. 217 00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:35,556 I've just seen this demonstrated. 218 00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:37,591 Watch the scissors break. 219 00:09:52,524 --> 00:09:54,692 Did you realize we can make anything in the world 220 00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:55,859 with this material? 221 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:57,995 We can make suits and dresses and fabrics. 222 00:09:57,996 --> 00:09:59,463 There's no limit to what we can do. 223 00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:01,432 Roger, we're not gonna make anything out of it. 224 00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:03,434 Oh, but why, master? Well, think, Jeannie, 225 00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:04,735 if this ever got on the market, 226 00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:06,937 it could... Well, it could destroy our whole economy. 227 00:10:06,938 --> 00:10:09,473 I don't think there'd be a fabric firm in existence. 228 00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:10,508 It would affect, uh... 229 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,310 Well, tailoring establishments, 230 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:16,480 and, uh, cleaning and... And clothing manufacturers, 231 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,582 and finally, it'd get down to trucks 232 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,418 and rail road cars and gasoline. 233 00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:21,786 You dirty blouse. 234 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,788 Let's destroy it before it destroys us. 235 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,425 How are you going to destroy it? I'm gonna burn it. 236 00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,927 Here. But I do not think it will burn, master. 237 00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:32,430 I wasn't planning on using a match. 238 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:34,432 [?] 239 00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:46,212 I'll hold the torch, Tony. You light it. 240 00:10:47,512 --> 00:10:49,079 There we are. 241 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,883 Here. You hold it. 242 00:10:52,884 --> 00:10:55,419 Let's get this thing... 243 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,155 There we are. 244 00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,128 Stand back. 245 00:11:06,414 --> 00:11:07,715 [DOORBELL RINGS] 246 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:11,036 ROGER: Watch that we don't burn the garage down. 247 00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:13,641 All right. Let's give this a try. 248 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:20,044 There's not a mark on it. I can't believe it. 249 00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:21,212 I don't believe it, either. 250 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,047 But I... I just saw it. 251 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,751 BELLOWS: You shot that flame at this blouse. 252 00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,586 TONY: Yes, I... I... Yes, I did. 253 00:11:29,587 --> 00:11:30,972 You saw it, Major Healey. 254 00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:32,389 Well, I... 255 00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:35,643 And this blouse is untouched. You said so yourself. 256 00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:37,962 Did I? Yeah. Oh, I did. Yes. 257 00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:39,931 Don't think I don't know what you're up to. 258 00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,332 You're trying to keep this to yourself. 259 00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,969 TONY: Oh, no, sir. It's just not ready yet. 260 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,673 BELLOWS: I want the secret formula that you used on this, major. 261 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,324 The X Factor. 262 00:11:50,325 --> 00:11:51,826 Uh, we just ran out, sir. 263 00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:54,579 As a matter of fact, we just ran out right now. 264 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:56,713 What's this? 265 00:12:00,902 --> 00:12:02,887 "Secret Formula." 266 00:12:05,123 --> 00:12:06,907 Uh-huh. 267 00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:08,509 "X Factor." 268 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,543 This is it. 269 00:12:09,544 --> 00:12:10,645 Oh, no, sir. 270 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,046 That's really not it. It's not... 271 00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:14,448 I'll just take this with me. 272 00:12:14,449 --> 00:12:16,250 [STAMMERING] Sir, you see, it's not... 273 00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:17,918 It's still in the experimental stage. 274 00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:20,487 Mm, Major Nelson, I want you to keep yourself available. 275 00:12:20,488 --> 00:12:24,258 Unless I miss my guess, within 24 hours, 276 00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:26,927 we're going to be at the White House. 277 00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:34,518 Now, keep your eye on the blouse, general. 278 00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,320 It won't even be touched. 279 00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:40,374 [?] 280 00:12:51,836 --> 00:12:53,921 [?] 281 00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,458 Here. Let me get it for you. 282 00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,454 Are you moving to another office, sir? 283 00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:13,624 You might say that. Permanently. 284 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,025 I beg your pardon, sir? 285 00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:16,427 Oh, haven't they told you? 286 00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:19,863 General Peterson has transferred me out of Cape Kennedy. 287 00:13:19,864 --> 00:13:21,064 Why? 288 00:13:21,065 --> 00:13:22,866 Because he's found a place where he thinks 289 00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:25,035 I might be more useful. 290 00:13:25,036 --> 00:13:27,538 I'm going to Iceland. Sir? 291 00:13:27,539 --> 00:13:30,307 To work with the Eskimo. 292 00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:32,376 Why would General Peterson do a thing like that? 293 00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:34,345 Your X Factor, major. 294 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:35,712 My what? 295 00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:37,714 Well, I, uh... 296 00:13:37,715 --> 00:13:41,385 I tried to show General Peterson how it worked. 297 00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:44,155 I destroyed three of his uniforms. 298 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,423 You didn't. 299 00:13:46,424 --> 00:13:47,858 I don't understand it, 300 00:13:47,859 --> 00:13:52,163 but, uh, the X Factor seems only to have worked for you, yes? 301 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,231 Sir, if I knew you were gonna do a thing like that, 302 00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:57,000 I would have stopped you. 303 00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,402 Would you? Yes. 304 00:13:59,887 --> 00:14:02,556 I'm sorry I couldn't have stayed around here long enough 305 00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,959 to find out what makes you tick. 306 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,862 Next to me, you're probably the most interesting 307 00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:11,165 psychiatric case I've ever come across. 308 00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:12,299 Next to you, sir? 309 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,467 Yes. 310 00:14:13,468 --> 00:14:15,870 Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind. 311 00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:19,139 One minute I'm rational and then the next minute... 312 00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:22,059 You do things that... 313 00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:26,029 Oh, well, maybe the Eskimos will be good for me. 314 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,331 They're simple people. 315 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:33,404 They don't float in the air or change the days of the week 316 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,038 or control the weather. 317 00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:37,491 Sir, perhaps if I have a word with General Peterson myself... 318 00:14:37,492 --> 00:14:40,127 It won't do any good. He's in a very upset state. 319 00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:43,196 I, uh... When I left him, he was bellowing. 320 00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:44,197 No, I... 321 00:14:45,399 --> 00:14:46,900 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 322 00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:48,035 Uh, sir, perhaps... 323 00:14:48,036 --> 00:14:50,104 Oh, I'd appreciate it very much 324 00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:51,905 if you'd write to me from time to time 325 00:14:51,906 --> 00:14:54,226 and, uh, let me know what you're... 326 00:14:56,577 --> 00:14:59,013 doing. 327 00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,181 Yes, sir. 328 00:15:01,182 --> 00:15:02,549 Good luck, sir. 329 00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:03,884 Thank you. 330 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:12,976 [WHISTLES] 331 00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:15,011 Quartermaster? 332 00:15:15,012 --> 00:15:16,846 Oh, hi, captain. 333 00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:18,949 Yeah, this is Major Healey. Mm-hm. 334 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,750 Look, I was just wondering, 335 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:23,853 how much do we spend a year on uniforms? 336 00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,156 Oh, that much. 337 00:15:26,157 --> 00:15:27,324 Look, I was just wondering, 338 00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:30,026 uh, what would you think about this, uh... 339 00:15:30,027 --> 00:15:32,529 What if I came up with a uniform 340 00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:36,733 that if you put grease on it, it wouldn't spot. 341 00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:37,934 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 342 00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:39,336 And you couldn't cut it. 343 00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:41,438 I mean, you couldn't tear it or rip it or anything. 344 00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:43,707 Or, if you put a torch to it, it wouldn't burn. 345 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:46,076 [LINE CLICKS] 346 00:15:46,077 --> 00:15:47,211 Captain? 347 00:15:54,385 --> 00:15:56,170 Why would I keep Dr. Bellows here? 348 00:15:56,171 --> 00:15:57,704 He's dangerous. 349 00:15:57,705 --> 00:15:59,407 Well, sir, I've worked with Dr. Bellows 350 00:15:59,408 --> 00:16:00,607 for the last two years. 351 00:16:00,608 --> 00:16:02,843 And believe me, he's a man... I know what he is. 352 00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:04,011 He walked into this office, 353 00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:05,712 said we were going to Washington, D.C., 354 00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:07,681 put some fly spray on me, and he smeared grease 355 00:16:07,682 --> 00:16:09,616 all over my uniform. 356 00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:10,717 Yes, but I-I... 357 00:16:10,718 --> 00:16:12,719 Then he came back with a pair of scissors, 358 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,390 put some tea on me and started cutting up another uniform. 359 00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:19,760 And then he came in, and he set fire to this. 360 00:16:21,696 --> 00:16:23,464 Kind of scorched it. 361 00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:28,452 I-I-I don't suppose it could be patched. 362 00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:29,953 I've got to get him out of here 363 00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,122 before I run out of clothes. 364 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,723 Look what I gotta wear! 365 00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:35,292 Well, uh, you see, Dr. Bellows is rather highly-strung, sir. 366 00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,728 Highly-strung? He's snapped. 367 00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,730 I'm sure if you'd give him another chance, general, 368 00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:41,598 he would be... If I gave him another chance, 369 00:16:41,599 --> 00:16:43,433 by next Monday I'd be naked. 370 00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:44,518 No, sir. 371 00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:47,187 Let the Eskimos worry about him for a while. 372 00:16:47,188 --> 00:16:50,574 Well, I feel partially responsible for this, general. 373 00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:53,310 You see, Dr. Bellows saw Major Healey and I 374 00:16:53,311 --> 00:16:54,812 conducting an experiment, 375 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,748 and he thought we were able to take an ordinary piece of cloth 376 00:16:57,749 --> 00:16:59,549 and make it practically indestructible. 377 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,352 Tony, I admire loyalty in any man. 378 00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:03,653 I'm only coming to his defense, sir, 379 00:17:03,654 --> 00:17:05,973 because I don't want to see an injustice done. 380 00:17:05,974 --> 00:17:08,041 Tony, I want to give you a little advice. 381 00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:09,343 Yes, sir. 382 00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:10,710 It's the same advice I'd give you 383 00:17:10,711 --> 00:17:12,712 if you were my own son. 384 00:17:12,713 --> 00:17:13,730 Yes, sir. 385 00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,982 Get out. 386 00:17:15,983 --> 00:17:17,935 [?] 387 00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:32,932 Check. 388 00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:35,803 [SIGHS] 389 00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:46,029 [LAUGHS] 390 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,798 Checkmate. 391 00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,568 Congratulations. 392 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:54,338 Oh, thank you, master. 393 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,440 Is anything wrong? 394 00:17:56,441 --> 00:17:59,042 They're sending Dr. Bellows to Iceland. 395 00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,645 Oh! 396 00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:03,114 And this does not please you? 397 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:04,548 No. It does not please me. 398 00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:06,250 Oh, well, where would you like him to go? 399 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,751 I wouldn't like him to go anywhere. 400 00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:09,487 Jeannie, Dr. Bellows is being punished 401 00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,822 for something that was not his fault. 402 00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:14,492 And would you like to know whose fault it is? 403 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:18,862 Hm, no, I do not think so. 404 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,697 One little wish. 405 00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:23,334 You grant Roger Healey one little wish, 406 00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,402 and we lose Dr. Bellows. 407 00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:26,703 He's a very good man. 408 00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:28,205 This base can't afford to lose him. 409 00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:30,574 Well, did you explain this to General Peterson? 410 00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:31,575 General Peterson. 411 00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,677 He just tossed me out of his office. 412 00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:34,778 He... He toss... 413 00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:36,180 [GRUNTING] Now, wait a minute! 414 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,314 Now, don't, please. 415 00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,082 Not General Peterson. I don't need that. 416 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,451 No, I really don't need that. 417 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,953 Well, surely there must be someone above General Peterson? 418 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,755 Yeah. Well, there's General Burke. 419 00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:47,224 That's his immediate superior. But he's at the Pentagon. 420 00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:49,059 How would I ever explain that to him? 421 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,428 Oh, do not worry, master. I will explain it. 422 00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:52,829 Yeah... 423 00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:58,135 [?] 424 00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:02,973 Oh! 425 00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:08,978 [JEANNIE'S VOICE] Good afternoon, airman. 426 00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:24,644 Yes? 427 00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:26,113 Ah, it's General Patterson. 428 00:19:26,114 --> 00:19:27,181 Peterson. 429 00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:28,748 Ah, of course. 430 00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:30,050 I'm Colonel Harris. 431 00:19:30,051 --> 00:19:31,351 General Burke sent me. 432 00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:33,454 Well, I'm very happy to know you, colonel. 433 00:19:33,455 --> 00:19:34,788 General Burke here? 434 00:19:34,789 --> 00:19:37,091 Here? No, he'll be down later. 435 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,025 He wanted me to tell you how pleased he is 436 00:19:39,026 --> 00:19:40,827 with the work you've been doing, general. 437 00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:42,196 Is he? 438 00:19:42,197 --> 00:19:44,465 Well, we all try to do our best. 439 00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,366 We have a good team here, you know. 440 00:19:46,367 --> 00:19:49,536 Those are the general's exact words. 441 00:19:49,537 --> 00:19:51,638 Um, may I tell you something in confidence? 442 00:19:51,639 --> 00:19:53,273 Why, certainly, colonel. 443 00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,476 The reason the general is coming here 444 00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:57,511 is to give a special commendation 445 00:19:57,512 --> 00:19:59,846 to one of the members of your team. 446 00:19:59,847 --> 00:20:01,881 Well, that's wonderful. Who is he? 447 00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:03,616 Uh, Dr. Bellows. 448 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,986 Dr. Bellows. 449 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:09,439 Uh, General Burke says he's been doing a great job. 450 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,774 Well, where is he, general? 451 00:20:10,775 --> 00:20:11,842 Well, as a matter of fact, 452 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,545 Dr. Bellows is... Is just leaving on a little trip. 453 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,480 He may even be gone by now. 454 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,331 General Burke is gonna be surprised to hear 455 00:20:18,332 --> 00:20:19,500 you could spare him. 456 00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:21,267 But I suppose it's just for the weekend. 457 00:20:21,268 --> 00:20:22,902 You know, General Burke and Dr. Bellows 458 00:20:22,903 --> 00:20:24,538 are old classmates. 459 00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:26,272 Old classmates. 460 00:20:26,273 --> 00:20:27,541 I didn't know that. 461 00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:28,809 Oh, yes. 462 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,844 General Burke thinks the world of Dr. Bellows. 463 00:20:30,845 --> 00:20:32,262 He does? 464 00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,564 Yes, they're cousins. 465 00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:35,815 They're cousins. 466 00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:38,234 First cousins. 467 00:20:38,235 --> 00:20:40,921 Well, I don't think Dr. Bellows 468 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,123 will be going away on that trip after all. 469 00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:45,025 You tell General Burke I'd find it hard 470 00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,527 to get along without him. 471 00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:48,028 Oh, goody! 472 00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,747 Um, uh, the General will be pleased to hear that. 473 00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:52,949 Will you excuse me for a moment, colonel? 474 00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,318 Just make yourself at home. 475 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,710 [LAUGHING] 476 00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:07,247 Whee! 477 00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,917 Oh, Dr. Bellows, I... 478 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,217 Yes, general? 479 00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:31,988 What are you doing? 480 00:21:31,989 --> 00:21:34,791 Doing? I'm packing. 481 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,627 Packing? Where you going? 482 00:21:37,628 --> 00:21:38,628 Where am I going? 483 00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:40,129 You've sent me to Siberia... 484 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,731 Um, I mean, Iceland. 485 00:21:41,732 --> 00:21:44,133 Do you know the trouble with you, doctor? 486 00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:45,702 [CHUCKLING] You're too sensitive. 487 00:21:45,703 --> 00:21:47,203 I'm too sensitive? 488 00:21:47,204 --> 00:21:49,706 Well, you don't really think we could get along around here 489 00:21:49,707 --> 00:21:51,140 without you, did ya? 490 00:21:51,141 --> 00:21:55,078 But, general, you ordered me to pack my things and get out. 491 00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:56,780 [CHUCKLING] Oh. 492 00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,381 And you thought I meant it? 493 00:21:58,382 --> 00:21:59,783 Didn't you? 494 00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:02,436 Well, as I was just saying to a friend of your cousin's, 495 00:22:02,437 --> 00:22:05,606 I couldn't possibly get along without you. 496 00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:06,873 My cousin's? 497 00:22:06,874 --> 00:22:10,610 After all, uh, what's a few uniforms? 498 00:22:10,611 --> 00:22:16,332 General, you mean I don't have to leave Cape Kennedy? 499 00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:18,969 Why, I wouldn't dream of letting ya go. 500 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:22,038 I'll deduct the uniforms from your pay. 501 00:22:22,039 --> 00:22:23,741 I don't know what to say. 502 00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:25,409 Well, don't say anything. 503 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,711 And Doctor? Yes? 504 00:22:27,712 --> 00:22:30,414 Try to get plenty of rest. 505 00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:32,148 I certainly will. 506 00:22:32,149 --> 00:22:35,318 Oh, and I'm awfully sorry about your uniforms. 507 00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:36,420 Oh, forget it. 508 00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,405 Oh, I'll never forget it, general. 509 00:22:52,653 --> 00:22:53,937 [BOTH LAUGHING] 510 00:22:53,938 --> 00:22:56,523 So Jeannie came back here, and she called General Peterson 511 00:22:56,524 --> 00:22:58,925 and told him that General Burke would not be able to make it 512 00:22:58,926 --> 00:23:00,393 until the later part of the month. 513 00:23:00,394 --> 00:23:01,661 Oh, that's marvelous. 514 00:23:01,662 --> 00:23:03,530 Well, I guess the old quack is still with us. 515 00:23:03,531 --> 00:23:05,732 He's not a quack, Roger. He's a very competent man. 516 00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:07,501 Oh, I enjoyed getting him out of trouble. 517 00:23:07,502 --> 00:23:08,502 Mm. Well, you should. 518 00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:10,203 You enjoyed getting him into it enough. 519 00:23:10,204 --> 00:23:11,204 I did not. 520 00:23:11,205 --> 00:23:12,572 You did too. Are you finished? 521 00:23:12,573 --> 00:23:13,973 Huh? Yeah. 522 00:23:13,974 --> 00:23:15,125 Look, Jeannie... I did not. 523 00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:16,193 You did too. 524 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,694 Listen, I know you didn't mean to... 525 00:23:17,695 --> 00:23:19,729 [ARGUING] 526 00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:21,565 Wait a minute, will ya? 527 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,467 I'm the one that got cheated out of the wish. 528 00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:25,535 I didn't get to finish my strawberry shortcake. 529 00:23:25,536 --> 00:23:27,704 Now, all I want is one wish. What's wrong with that? 530 00:23:27,705 --> 00:23:28,871 No, no, Roger. Just one. 531 00:23:28,872 --> 00:23:30,740 I'm not gonna grant... Now, wait a minute. 532 00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:32,041 Please, master, may I, please? 533 00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:34,144 Now, don't you start on me. She wants to give me... 534 00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:36,480 I've had enough of this. No! 535 00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,814 No... All right! All right! 536 00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:39,015 All right? 537 00:23:39,016 --> 00:23:40,850 You mean you're gonna give me one wish? 538 00:23:40,851 --> 00:23:42,202 Oh, boy! I'm rich. 539 00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:43,537 Oh, yachts and chateaus. 540 00:23:43,538 --> 00:23:45,071 Chateaus and yachts. Yeah, I got it. 541 00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:46,406 Wait, no. Wait, wait, wait! 542 00:23:46,407 --> 00:23:47,908 I'll be a rich movie star, that's it. 543 00:23:47,909 --> 00:23:49,075 A movie star. Movie star? 544 00:23:49,076 --> 00:23:50,476 Rich movie star. No, no, no, no! 545 00:23:50,477 --> 00:23:52,345 Oh, wait. Maybe I should be a brain surgeon. 546 00:23:52,346 --> 00:23:53,747 Brain surgeon. 547 00:23:53,748 --> 00:23:56,282 Roger, you know, you're the funniest man I've ever met. 548 00:23:56,283 --> 00:23:57,450 You know something? 549 00:23:57,451 --> 00:23:59,385 You know what I wished when I was a little boy? 550 00:23:59,386 --> 00:24:01,605 I-I wished I were the funniest man in the world. 551 00:24:03,457 --> 00:24:06,059 Here, you hold this and I'll hold this. 552 00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:07,126 Aw. 553 00:24:07,127 --> 00:24:08,795 Hi, Groucho. 554 00:24:17,304 --> 00:24:19,305 [?] 555 00:24:19,355 --> 00:24:23,905 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0